“What Happens On The Boat Stays On The Boat,” Oprah Says Of Obama Vacation

The Obamas joined Oprah on a yacht at the tail end of their vacation in French Polynesia. While there, they snorkeled, paddleboarded, and turned Barack into an Instagram husband. Also on the yacht were Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, and probably the biggest nascent alt-right conspiracy theory since “Pizzagate.”

 What happened Extra asked? Come on, you can tell us. We trust you, because you gave everyone a car. You should trust us, because we don’t want anything from you. We just want to know what happened on the boat. Did Barack do shots with Tom Hanks? Did Springsteen tell everyone he secretly hates New Jersey?

Oprah said “There were conversations all the time, that’s all we did was talk. We talked, and everybody else did a lot of paddleboarding,” she told the outlet. “I’m not really good with the ocean. Me and the ocean don’t get along too good. There was a lot of paddleboarding, snorkeling, jet skiing, lots of good stuff.”